I looked at my own cervix.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again