week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
You're like the curious george of whores
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in