it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
