Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
