Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize