remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He passed out mid-signature
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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