Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
