She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
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