Heybabeimwearingurpanties
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize