Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
