Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Randomize
