All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize