someone threw a dead crab at me
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
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