ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
