Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize