I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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