if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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