so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
