if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
