Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
