if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
