just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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