everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
