Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
We have started to decorate penises.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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