I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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