this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
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sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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