You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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