ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
