3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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