youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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