There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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