Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
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