Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
