Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
