I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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