I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
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