Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
what is it with giant penises always finding me
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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