Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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