Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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