where does the pee come out of this thing
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
