I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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