No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
