I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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