For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
