Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
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When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
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i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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