I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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