I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
There's even glitter on my cock...
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