shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Randomize
