I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize