You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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