My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
