thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize