is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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