I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
