he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Randomize
