I skipped work to stalk him.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
