what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
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