The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Randomize
