Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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