It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize