Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
