you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize