Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
