Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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