You're my little dorito
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
