if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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